


What Cheesy Bullcrap

by moonshoe



Series: Luke and Han's Grand Adventure [2]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Dublin - Freeform, England - Freeform, Europe, Ireland, London, M/M, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 10:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6151259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonshoe/pseuds/moonshoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first leg of Han and Luke's adventure (outside of D.C. at least). Han is trying to keep as much as the trip from Luke as possible so Luke will be surprised. They're cute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Cheesy Bullcrap

**Author's Note:**

> Notes at da end, if you're interested, y'all. You can hear sob stories and explanations for this borderline trash, COMING UP NEXT on "LEARN TO PRIORITIZE UR SHIT" on nbc

“Where to?” The cab driver was twisted around in the driver’s seat, looking at the two men in her car. One of them couldn’t stop bouncing up and down. The other was looking at the bouncing blonde with amusement.

“Dorset Square,” said the older one, smiling. 

They pulled out of the airport’s drop-off station and started weaving in and out of cars until they reached the highway. The cabbie smiled to herself. She liked tourists—she was proud of her city. She decided to recommend a restaurant to them before she dropped them off. She heard the blonde hiss at the other one to put his seatbelt on, and saw the brunette roll his eyes in response as he pulled the strap across his chest. He then reached a hand over to place it on the knee of the young--still bouncing-- one. The action stilled him and they looked at each other, smiling, before looking out their windows. The hand remained. 

They seemed like a lovely couple. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Thank you, keep the change!” Han tapped the top of the black cab as it pulled away, making a mental note about the restaurant she’d told them about… the “Humble Grape.” The name sounded kinda stupid, but she’d told him that it was the “authentic London experience”. He’d wanted to lay low today because he knew jetlag was gonna be a bitch. He thought about maybe taking a nap and going to a pub or something simple like that, seeing as though their time was going to be almost completely booked up starting at 0800 tomorrow. 

They approached the desk in the cramped but well-to-do hotel. Han was watching Luke as the kid’s head twisted in a circle, eyes wide, trying to take in as much as possible. His heart swelled, full of emotion. His body was racked with excitement as he thought about how many times he’d get to watch Luke’s eyes light up. The idea was just as exciting as the trip itself. 

“Reservation for Solo, party of two,” Han told the desk clerk, not looking away from Luke, who was now investigating a cabinet with an in-laid wood pattern of a bouquet of poppies. It was situated on top of a thick maroon rug with golden embroidery. Both looked pretty old. He heard someone speaking and turned to face the clerk. 

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” 

The clerk smirked. 

“Would you like to be shown to your room now, sir?” There was a bit of sass in this man’s voice. It made Han resent him a bit. 

“Yes, please. Thank you. Luke, c’mon,” he added, reaching out for Luke’s small hand. They both had backpacks filled to bursting with what Han called “the stuff for adventures.” 

“I’m sure it’s not against the adventurer handbook to smell decent,” Luke whispered to himself as he snuck extra soap and deodorant into his bag. 

Han also was toting his camera bag, but it wasn’t a burden. They’d be able to leave their stuff at their places of stay wherever they went. Han was grateful at the thought—he loved Luke, truly, but the kid got real whiny real fast. If Luke was ‘subjected’ to having to carry his bag with him through, say, a path in the Boreal Forest, he would use it as leverage for “I’m always right” arguments until they both died. 

The clerk turned their brass key in the door to their room and ushered them in. He made a comment along the lines of “anything you need, just ask the front desk”, but neither was listening. Their room was gorgeous. There was modern art all over the walls with a huge king sized bed. Luke ran over to the window and squealed. 

“Han! HAN! You can see so much, it’s so beautiful, Han!” He was bouncing again.

Han came up behind him and slid the backpack off of his shoulders and placing it next to the dresser before coming back to wrap his arms around Luke’s waist from behind. 

“I’m glad you like it,” he tried to sound offhanded, but he was so damn excited. His heart was beating so fast, and it wasn’t because of the city. It was because of his love’s reaction to a gift that Han had spent so much time and effort organizing. It felt great. It felt thrilling. Han still hadn’t divulged the “secrets” of the remainder of the trip. Truthfully, he knew that telling Luke everything at once would be overwhelming for the kid, but he was pretty happy about the arrangement. He loved surprising Luke. 

They decided to stay in for the night and spend the next three days exploring the city. When they woke up the next day, wrapped in thick white sheets and each other, reality of their location sank in and they got excited all over again. Luke was dressed in record time as he strode into the main room, clutching a city map in his hands and beaming up at Han. 

“So, what do you have planned first, deary?” Luke started to fiddle with the buttons on Han’s shirt. 

“London stuff. C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The sky looked like it was on fire. The sun had cast crimson across the horizon and it forced the loud city into a breathtaking silhouette. And they could see it all. 

Luke stood, fingers against the glass of the London Eye while Han leaned up against the railing. He pushed himself off and walked over to Luke, who wordlessly released one of his hands from the glass and laced their fingers together. They stood and watched the gorgeous sunset over the city, and Luke thought about their experiences over the last two days. 

They’d taken goofy pictures with the Queen’s Guard. They visited Trafalgar Square and the Tower of London. They bought fish and chips to share as they walked around Piccadilly Circus, looking at all of the upscale retail stores. Luke joked with Han that ‘if you really love me, you’d buy me those black leather Gucci stiletto boots’. Han thought about Luke IN the boots for a second, and then told Luke he’d consider it. 

They even stopped in Madame Tussaud’s and took pictures with some lovely characters and celebrities. Luke’s favorite was probably Indiana Jones. He’d never admit it to Han, but he’d always had a bit of a crush on the famed archaeologist. 

They ran across Westminster to get to Big Ben just in time for it to start it’s high-noon toll. Han caught the moment on his camera (he mainly got pictures of Luke covering his ears, but he managed to take a small video, too). 

Finally, they went to an aquarium, because Luke told Han he’d never been to one. 

“Oceans always freaked me out, Han. We don’t know what the hell’s down there.” 

Han insisted at this point, getting nervous thinking about Luke’s reaction to the times in the future they’d need to sail across oceans to get to their next destinations. Turns out, he’d nothing to be worried about. As soon as Luke passed the first tank full of bright orange starfish, his eyes went wide again and his face opened up into a look of disbelief. Han’s stomach flipped. When they left, Luke was wearing a button that said “I touched a Sting Ray!” and was babbling on about how beautiful and brilliant the seals were. 

And now, here they stood in silence as the first leg of their adventure was slowly coming to a close. Luke was exhausted. He was six hours early in his (very regimented) schedule, but he didn’t want to ruin Han’s plans… so he remained silent. Han knew, of course. Luke kept yawning and trying to hide it. It just so happened that Han only had one more thing to do before they’d retire to their hotel room and pack for the next adventure. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“TWO PINTS!”   
Han raised his arm, waving at the bartender who slammed down the mugs filled to the brim with ale. They sat at the bar of the pub, drinking, laughing, and throwing the bar’s peanuts at each other when the bartender wasn’t looking. After three or four more pints, Han decided it’d be best to get Luke back to the hotel. Poor kid was already exhausted, now he was drunk, too. 

Luke giggled all the way back to the room with Han’s arm around his ribcage the whole time, supporting him. Han opened the door and threw the keys on a side table, half-carrying Luke to lay on the bed. He stripped off Luke’s shoes and pants and lifted his shirt off. Before he went to sleep, Han made him drink some water and then kissed him on the top of the head before looking in the binder to see what tomorrow had in store (as if he hadn’t basically memorized the contents by now). Tomorrow, they were going to Ireland. 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After a short and relatively painless flight (excluding the one woman behind Luke who coughed with a vengeance and didn’t cover her mouth ONCE), they were in a rental car outside of the airport in Dublin and on their merry way. 

It was Han’s plan to drive all the way up to Belfast, near Giant’s Causeway. The car ride was eventful, because neither of them had ever driven on the right side of the car before. Han tried it for a while but then Luke said he wanted to try, too. They both got the hang of it, and opted to take the country roads through the bright green hills… even though the highways seemed to have pretty gorgeous views, too. There were white fluffy sheep all over the countryside. 

Finally, they reached their destination and pulled into a place with a sign saying “The Causeway Hotel”. It looked old and gorgeous. 

It seemed like a bit of a bed and breakfast type environment, and when they reached their room, they both gasped out loud. Their window gave a perfect view of the cliff sides of the Causeway and the Atlantic Ocean. They watched, stunned, as gulls flew past and the wind whipped through the grass on the cliffs. Without saying anything, both Han and Luke dropped their bags and almost ran outside to begin the path. 

When they reached the middle of the path, Luke had tears in his eyes and Han felt choked up watching him hop from hexagonal rock to hexagonal rock, spinning around like he needed to shake some of the joy off of him because it felt like too much. Luke just couldn’t believe that a place like this existed. Rocks, all the same shape, were stacked on top of one another, covered in moss, making pillars and walls and columns to walk through and around. They rocks led straight down to the sea, and you could see the red clay cliffs all around. The place seemed magical and serene. Luke looked up at Han, giving him a fleeting smile as he stripped off his shoes and socks to wade ankle deep into the water. Han shrugged and followed suit. His fingers reached out, searching for their favorite thing, and found satisfaction in the feeling of Luke’s soft fingertips reaching out for him, too. They stood for a while, gazing out at this magnificent work of accidental art. 

The next day, Han had planned to spend most of the day traveling. His final destination for the night was Cork. He knew it was far away from Belfast. He was aware. He wanted to drive along the coast of Ireland and let Luke sleep a bit, if he wanted. They’d also stop and look at anything that looked interesting. They had a day full of laughter and soft music and Luke slept for about an hour and a half before forcing Han to switch with him so he could return the favor. Han fell asleep; he was out like a light. He didn’t really think about the fact that HE could be tired, too. 

“JUST LIKE THE WHITE WING DOVE, SINGS THE SONG SOUNDS LIKE SHE’S SINGIN! OOH! OOH! OOOHHHHHH” 

Han bolted upright, eyes half shut and hair covering his face as he raised his hands ready to slap attack anyone who dared to fight him, only to realize that his offenders were the dynamic duo of Stevie Knicks and Luke Skywalker, who had opened the passenger seat door to get right in Han’s face as he started screaming “Edge of Seventeen” to the music on the radio. Han groaned and unclicked his seat belt to get out of the car. 

Luke grinned up at him and stood on tiptoe to kiss his boyfriend on the nose before saying “good mornin’, sunshine.” 

“Mmfgh. Where’re we.” 

“Cork. Well, kinda. I stopped at this town because it looked nice and I’m hungry. It’s a port town. Lots of sailboats. S’that okay? I don’t know how much time you’ve given us to get there…” Luke trailed off, waiting for Han’s response. 

Han’s heart rate was still returning to its normal pace when he reached in the car, grabbed his wallet and pushed the door shut. “Sure, kid. I said whatever looks interesting,” Han said, still groggily. “Wherever you wanna go it okay with me, but we ARE in Ireland so maybe we should go somewhere authent—“ 

“OOH! Han there’s a Chinese restaurant! C’mon, you love Chinese.” Han rolled his eyes and let himself be led into the little building. It was packed full of people, and by the time their food came, Han had to admit it was some of the best Chinese food he’d had in a while. 

Han took over driving until they reached their Bed and Breakfast. The landlady asked them what they wanted for breakfast and brought them black tea with biscuits that evening. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
Han woke the next day before Luke, more excited about today than any of the days so far. He knew that this would be Luke’s favorite part of this portion of the trip and he couldn’t wait to see his face when he saw—

“Mmm. Gumorng,” Luke rolled over and watched as Han stuffed the black binder into his backpack. He closed his eyes again. Han looked over at him and felt warm when he saw Luke’s tan bare back, shoulder blades cutting triangular impressions through the skin. Luke’s hair was like a haystack. Han very seriously considered just staying here a few more hours to… partake… in the ‘natural beauty’, but he shook his head as if to clear it and continued to pack. 

“C’mon, baby, you gotta get up,” he said softly, finishing his packing and walking over to rub circles into Luke’s back. 

“You can sleep in the car, but trust me, you’re gonna want to spend as much time at this place as you can.” 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Blarney Castle: Admissions” 

The sign stood at the beginning of the walkway up to the ticketing booth, and Luke didn’t really know why Han had raved so much about this place. I mean, sure, it was gorgeous, but wasn’t it just supposed to be a castle? And you kiss a stone or something? Han had really tried to sell it to him that he’d be head over heels. Luke thanked the ticket booth operator and walked inside the grounds. He came to a halt. 

Spread out before him was the most diverse and incredible display of botany that Luke had ever seen. There were trees whose trunks had warped to form chairs, flowers beyond what someone could imagine with petals shaped like crescent moons. There were vines reaching up brick pillars around the plant sanctuary that Luke found himself in, and he couldn’t breathe. Han wrapped a hand around his waist and silently began slowly walking him around the massive grounds. 

There was a fairy forest with hot pink bell shaped flowers growing on arrow-pointed dark leaves, and the petals would float off and tangle in your hair. There was a massive archway made entirely from branches, vines, and flowers. There was a “toxic” section that was reserved for plants that could change your behavior or cause harm. There was a stream running through the gardens that housed ducks and dragonflies and teeny fish. There was an old stone bridge that overlooked that stream and was high enough to see the colors of the gardens—so many colors it made your eyes hurt. Han took pictures of it all. He never wanted to forget. 

Before they knew it, five hours had passed and all they’d done was walk around, cherishing the flowers and the breeze and each other’s company as they joked softly. Luke would tell Han what he think a certain kind of plant would act like, and Han would either agree, or disagree, giving him an alternative ‘personality’ for the latter.   
They made their way back to the castle and were about to get in line to kiss the stone that made them ‘speak with eloquence,’ when an employee hung a sign saying “CLOSED UNTIL TOMORROW AT 0900”. Luke wasn’t even a little bit bummed. He wrapped his arm around Han’s and walked back to the car, bidding an almost tearful goodbye to the green beings he’d strangely come to see as friends. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
“Luke, we’re gonna be late!” Han was shouting through the bathroom door. 

The door swung open and Luke was all ready, miraculously, as he shoved his toothbrush in his bag and hoisted it onto his shoulders. 

“Now who’s gonna be late?” Luke said childishly, running out of the door to their room and closing it behind him so Han would have to re-open it. 

“What a little bitch,” thought Han, laughing as he jogged to catch up with Luke. 

 

After their trip to Cork, they’d made their way back to Dublin for a day before they had to begin the next leg of their trip (Luke still didn’t know where that would be). Han had bought day passes for the hop-on/hop-off bus that gave tours of the city. They stopped at the Guinness Factory and learned how their brew was made. At the end, they both got a free pint. Luke said he liked it better than the ale in London, that Guinness was almost sweeter.   
They had the privilege of walking around the gorgeous city in the warm glow of the sun with a spring breeze lifting their shirts a bit and ruffling their hair. Han took picture upon picture of Luke (who, incidentally, loved to have his picture taken). They stopped in the evening to get a drink at a pub before their journey the next day. Han got another Guinness. Luke got a Bailey’s Irish Crème Coffee. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

That night, Han lay awake looking at the ceiling with Luke curled into his side. He thought that at this point, he might be more excited than Luke was about the trip. He remembered something that one of his teachers told him years and years ago: about how people have love languages, and the way you like to receive love can be different than the way you like to give it. He thought about this gift to the two of them and how making Luke happy with something like this made him feel full of sunshine and purpose. 

At the same time, he thought of how he’d feel if someone did this for HIM and he felt a bit sick. He figured it was because he never wanted to owe anyone anything. He’d fallen into that trap too many times. 

Then he thought about how he felt so content whenever Luke was anything resembling ‘happy’. 

He smiled and closed his eyes, arm tightening around Luke’s shoulders. He had one last definitive thought crop up before drifting off with a grin still lingering on his lips: 

“What cheesy bullcrap.”

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who hasn't slept in a whopping 39 hours? This gal. At the same time I feel like I can maybe fight a bear. I dunno, I wrote ~36 pages by hand on carbon paper for a chemistry lab write up and it took almost exactly ten hours to do so, so I felt like I deserved to write something that didn't have to do with equilibrium constants. I just want some wine maybe. But for now, I'm gonna do a swan dive into the mountain of blankets and pillows on my bed and do something that my momma always told me never to do: Imma take a nap in the early evening. 
> 
> Anyway enjoy this. I thought it was cute. I'm easing it in. European culture is still western culture compared to some of the shit they're gonna see in parts 2-4 so. Part 1 is the "livin easy" part b/c after they leave Europe I'm probably gonna have them get robbed or some fun shit like that. As always, go enjoy some space gays and lemme know if you have any qualms, I'll do my best to address them and not be a big bag of butts about it


End file.
